Welcome! To Mount of the Forgotten Treasures! The game show where you either die in utter terror, or win… in utter terror. When last we left off, our contestants were deciding which door they would choose.
Colt: Psst, hey goblin. you want door #4.
Oh, it looks like goblin 37 is going for door #4! aaaaaaaand… He melds with it! so much for goblin 37.
Colt: Hey goblin. You want door #4.
OH! Colt just kicked goblin 36 into the door! he melded with it too. Bye bye goblin 36. better luck next time. or, y’know.. not.
Colt: let’s take this goblin off the door and throw it into the other one.
Now they’re breaking the arm off the still living darkwood goblin, preparing to throw him at door #2. He magically shatters! so much for saving goblin 37.
Cal: Goblin. lick door 3.
Goblin 35 goes to door #3.. and.. licks it? Oh God! that’s horrifying! He turns inside out! Oh, it looks like the group is dispelling the magic. and it only took several goblin deaths. They decide to split up! how will this fare for our contestants? Find out, after this commercial break.
Psst. are you out there? can you hear me? listen, I don’t have much time. I have to get out of here or I’ll die. I need—
And we’re back! Volke is watching a.. tentacle.. thing.. down hallway 4, and some others are in a dark room killing a dark thing with the help of their angels and a light-thing down hallway 2. After killing it, the group awkwardly and uncomfortably gathers around a shaft, and decides to go elsewhere. they travel down hallway 1, where they find… A brand new spiral staircase!! Congratulations contestants. Have fun probably meeting your doom later. Join us next time on Mount of the Forgotten Treasures!
Stupid staircase. I wanted a car. Ah well.
it took about two days to travel down the staircase. The first day, we found a random ring. It was love at first sight. It was my precious. We passed it without messing with it. volke looked back in paranoia. He started freaking out. I tried to run back to the ring but Malibar stopped me. Volke said he saw a girl covered in blood. She started singing, apparently. I danced to it. it was catchy. …probably. I tried to sneak over to the ring, but Colts angel held me back. I used my ventriloquism skills to escape, but Ulf held me up by the neck. everyone was trying to deal with Volke and his new friend. In a series of events I don’t quite remember, I was freed from Ulf’s grip and made it to the ring. I licked it. then another girl appeared, covered in blood. I put the ring on, and she stopped being covered in blood. I asked what her name was. she was silent for about two minutes straight. then I heard murmurs. “I dunno, what’s a girl’s name? uhh…” in the air around me. “Melody” she said. She told me she’d been here for a long time. I asked if she wanted to come with us. “I mean I don’t really have a choice…” No, like, do you want to though. “well it beats being stuck here forever.” and so I made a new friend.
She pointed out a random block that was out of place, and I remarked that it was indeed weird. we kept walking down the stairs. We waded through a river of blood, and found an island of bodies. upon this island was the behemoth. We made a boat out of freshly harvested goblin bodies… in front of their friends eyes… and I pushed the boat across. We did this awesome combo thing on the behemoth, and made it another new friend! isn’t that great melody? I said. “You forced it to be your slave!!” No, it’s just our friend now! we’re nice. we don’t make things our slaves… isn’t that right, goblins? I gesture to the seven remaining goblins who are having a celebratory rave for surviving. Colt tries to hold my hand, but Volke stops him. Good thing too. that was awkward. Ulf and I looked for other ways out, and found a well leading down. inside it was untold riches. That was when I found my hat. It was this super fancy nightcap with these holographic stars on it. And they can be used as shuriken!
“umm… I know. It literally just happened.” melody says. “what are you even doing this for anyways? you just got this hat and started listing off everything that happened the past few days.”
“whaat? psh… no… I.. that.. can you believe her, Volke?”
“who?” Volke replies
“see? he thinks you’re just overreacting, Melody. Now, let’s get out of here, life can’t be all fun and games. We’ve got adventures to go on! You coming melody?”